1 00:00:07,579 --> 00:00:03,230 all right guys Greg Carl would here and 2 00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:07,589 this is a highly unusual and very sad 3 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:11,310 and frustrating moment for many people 4 00:00:15,740 --> 00:00:14,010 the first guest that I was semi-closed 5 00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:15,750 with has passed away 6 00:00:21,410 --> 00:00:19,110 Tracy Twyman I never met Tracy in person 7 00:00:23,210 --> 00:00:21,420 but she was someone I had on the show 8 00:00:26,029 --> 00:00:23,220 multiple times and did occasionally 9 00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:26,039 touch base within the DMS from time to 10 00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:29,640 time and this all just happened I don't 11 00:00:33,890 --> 00:00:32,009 even know the circumstances of her death 12 00:00:37,460 --> 00:00:33,900 but I know she was married 13 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:37,470 I know she had a family and I couldn't 14 00:00:44,090 --> 00:00:41,250 have more empathy for all of them few 15 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:44,100 people really experienced this sort of 16 00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:48,210 unexpected loss and I cannot imagine how 17 00:00:55,610 --> 00:00:51,270 hard it is I don't even know what to say 18 00:00:59,240 --> 00:00:55,620 it is just terrible and I want to be 19 00:01:02,860 --> 00:00:59,250 extremely respectful and careful with my 20 00:01:06,020 --> 00:01:02,870 words for their sake for everyone's sake 21 00:01:09,169 --> 00:01:06,030 because when things are this serious 22 00:01:14,330 --> 00:01:09,179 it's just very irresponsible to be 23 00:01:18,410 --> 00:01:14,340 sloppy with your language but Tracy did 24 00:01:22,059 --> 00:01:18,420 record a video and she circulated it to 25 00:01:25,609 --> 00:01:22,069 a few friends and now that she's passed 26 00:01:28,609 --> 00:01:25,619 before even a day has gone by one of 27 00:01:30,789 --> 00:01:28,619 these people has a blog post on their 28 00:01:35,419 --> 00:01:30,799 website about it and posted this video 29 00:01:37,129 --> 00:01:35,429 that she had recorded which i think is 30 00:01:39,459 --> 00:01:37,139 extremely disrespectful and 31 00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:39,469 irresponsible but it is what it is now 32 00:01:44,330 --> 00:01:41,969 they had to have known they'd be 33 00:01:46,459 --> 00:01:44,340 starting a shitstorm but I'll give them 34 00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:46,469 the benefit of the doubt and I'm sure 35 00:01:52,010 --> 00:01:48,419 they were just grieving and still are 36 00:01:54,649 --> 00:01:52,020 and you would have to watch that in her 37 00:01:57,499 --> 00:01:54,659 own words to have all the context but 38 00:01:59,839 --> 00:01:57,509 she names me the higher side chats and 39 00:02:01,719 --> 00:01:59,849 my friend Kyle a guy I have known since 40 00:02:04,459 --> 00:02:01,729 the third grade one of the most 41 00:02:07,940 --> 00:02:04,469 compassionate and kind people I know to 42 00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:07,950 be honest and now I'm getting a lot of 43 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:10,110 messages about it some people are 44 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:13,050 skeptical of me and of this close friend 45 00:02:17,150 --> 00:02:14,130 of mine 46 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:17,160 and instead of responding to tweets and 47 00:02:22,010 --> 00:02:19,650 comments one by one or engaging with 48 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:22,020 people who mentioned me on the thread 49 00:02:27,140 --> 00:02:23,850 for Tracy's video which I think would be 50 00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:27,150 super disrespectful I'm just going to 51 00:02:31,790 --> 00:02:29,760 give my context for the situation and 52 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:31,800 anyone who's curious can listen to it 53 00:02:37,250 --> 00:02:35,130 here but Kyle's been my friend for more 54 00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:37,260 than 20 years and in the first couple 55 00:02:42,650 --> 00:02:39,630 years of THC he did co-host some 56 00:02:45,110 --> 00:02:42,660 episodes with me Duncan Trussell is one 57 00:02:47,690 --> 00:02:45,120 that comes to mind but when I was still 58 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:47,700 trying to find my way and trying out 59 00:02:51,230 --> 00:02:49,380 several different formats one was 60 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:51,240 co-hosts and he was a big part of that 61 00:02:56,150 --> 00:02:53,970 as were a few other people and I just 62 00:03:00,050 --> 00:02:56,160 say that because unlike me 63 00:03:02,900 --> 00:03:00,060 unlike Tracy Kyle is not a public figure 64 00:03:06,470 --> 00:03:02,910 in any way and if you wanted to get 65 00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:06,480 context for who he is that's really the 66 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:07,910 only place to do it 67 00:03:12,890 --> 00:03:10,410 Tracy mentions this in her video but 68 00:03:15,110 --> 00:03:12,900 back when the Ferguson Police riots and 69 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:15,120 protests were going on Tracy was a 70 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:17,250 producer on Ground Zero with Clyde Lewis 71 00:03:21,110 --> 00:03:18,290 at the time 72 00:03:24,530 --> 00:03:21,120 traditional multi hour live radio 73 00:03:26,570 --> 00:03:24,540 program and she deemed me and said hey I 74 00:03:28,820 --> 00:03:26,580 know you're from st. Louis originally do 75 00:03:30,980 --> 00:03:28,830 you know anyone who is down there and 76 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:30,990 can maybe call in and I said yeah 77 00:03:36,260 --> 00:03:33,390 actually my friend Kyle happens to be 78 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:36,270 down there protesting right now police 79 00:03:41,750 --> 00:03:39,210 brutality and racial injustice are major 80 00:03:44,690 --> 00:03:41,760 issues - Kyle I'm sure he'd be willing 81 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:44,700 to call in and of course I would get a 82 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:47,130 kick out of listening to it and having 83 00:03:52,970 --> 00:03:50,250 facilitated it and it happened Kyle had 84 00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:52,980 a short segment kind of being their eyes 85 00:03:58,550 --> 00:03:55,110 and ears talking about what he was seen 86 00:04:01,310 --> 00:03:58,560 on the street in the action so I guess 87 00:04:04,430 --> 00:04:01,320 they kept in touch on Facebook I know he 88 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:04,440 really was is a big fan of her research 89 00:04:09,260 --> 00:04:06,810 obviously no matter how close you are to 90 00:04:13,370 --> 00:04:09,270 a person you don't know who they talked 91 00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:13,380 to or what they say but Tracy and Kyle 92 00:04:18,699 --> 00:04:15,830 were friendly 93 00:04:21,820 --> 00:04:18,709 now fast-forward quite a bit to around 94 00:04:24,580 --> 00:04:21,830 this time last year they started going 95 00:04:26,860 --> 00:04:24,590 pretty deep into some creepy videos they 96 00:04:29,590 --> 00:04:26,870 were seeing and trying to symbolically 97 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:29,600 decode and they looped me in to a group 98 00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:31,970 chat and shared it all with me and it 99 00:04:37,750 --> 00:04:34,910 was all pretty creepy it did not make me 100 00:04:40,420 --> 00:04:37,760 feel good and it wasn't anything overt 101 00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:40,430 but it definitely gave me the creeps 102 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:42,710 and Tracy said let's do a show on this 103 00:04:48,430 --> 00:04:45,410 right now and I said Tracy I really 104 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:48,440 don't even know what this is I tend to 105 00:04:52,530 --> 00:04:50,210 like to interview people about a book 106 00:04:56,710 --> 00:04:52,540 they wrote or something that I can study 107 00:04:59,590 --> 00:04:56,720 but this is not really what I do and I 108 00:05:02,110 --> 00:04:59,600 thought maybe some of the detail should 109 00:05:05,590 --> 00:05:02,120 be sorted out first I don't want to do 110 00:05:08,380 --> 00:05:05,600 anything irresponsible pedophilia is not 111 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:08,390 something to make casual claims about 112 00:05:14,770 --> 00:05:12,410 and I just saw how this material was 113 00:05:17,410 --> 00:05:14,780 affecting both of them I saw how it was 114 00:05:20,050 --> 00:05:17,420 getting to me and I said guys maybe you 115 00:05:22,810 --> 00:05:20,060 should put this down for a while and I 116 00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:22,820 said I'm sorry but I'm just gonna eject 117 00:05:27,670 --> 00:05:26,510 myself from this it's too much and what 118 00:05:31,780 --> 00:05:27,680 are you really gonna do about it anyway 119 00:05:34,180 --> 00:05:31,790 Tracy says herself that she went to the 120 00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:34,190 FBI and they turned her away and then 121 00:05:42,130 --> 00:05:37,580 her computers started going crazy but I 122 00:05:43,930 --> 00:05:42,140 consider that little saga to be separate 123 00:05:46,330 --> 00:05:43,940 from the other aspects of this whole 124 00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:46,340 thing that Tracy talks about in the 125 00:05:51,970 --> 00:05:49,310 video and I've talked about it a little 126 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:51,980 bit myself and that is a bombardment of 127 00:05:58,210 --> 00:05:55,970 creepy cryptic vaguely threatening 128 00:06:00,340 --> 00:05:58,220 messages that I was getting at the time 129 00:06:02,620 --> 00:06:00,350 and now I know I guess some of these 130 00:06:06,580 --> 00:06:02,630 people were also messaging her at the 131 00:06:09,430 --> 00:06:06,590 time but I do just try to stay out of 132 00:06:13,390 --> 00:06:09,440 stuff like that I don't like to give it 133 00:06:17,219 --> 00:06:13,400 more life by talking about it but it was 134 00:06:18,450 --> 00:06:17,229 my first real experience dealing with 135 00:06:21,290 --> 00:06:18,460 this 136 00:06:24,270 --> 00:06:21,300 stuff that did make me feel mildly 137 00:06:26,370 --> 00:06:24,280 unsafe and because my show is always 138 00:06:26,939 --> 00:06:26,380 just focused on the guests and their 139 00:06:29,939 --> 00:06:26,949 work 140 00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:29,949 I don't really leave room on the show 141 00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:32,860 for me to talk about some unrelated 142 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:35,110 personal dramas I might be experiencing 143 00:06:39,450 --> 00:06:37,449 I talked about it 144 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:39,460 the most probably when I was last on 145 00:06:46,290 --> 00:06:42,970 grammaire iike I was still trying to be 146 00:06:49,890 --> 00:06:46,300 a little vague and not let people know 147 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:49,900 they got to me and not air my friends 148 00:06:54,450 --> 00:06:52,930 personal business but I talked about it 149 00:06:57,570 --> 00:06:54,460 there people were sending me creepy 150 00:06:59,520 --> 00:06:57,580 pictures saying how sad it would be if I 151 00:07:02,939 --> 00:06:59,530 lost my wife saying that they're doing 152 00:07:06,629 --> 00:07:02,949 magic to disrupt my marriage and some of 153 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:06,639 this was happening and private messages 154 00:07:12,029 --> 00:07:08,289 some of it was spilling over into the 155 00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:12,039 THC Facebook group which I had just made 156 00:07:17,969 --> 00:07:15,009 by the way and I tried to stay out of 157 00:07:20,670 --> 00:07:17,979 that by just going in and renaming the 158 00:07:23,580 --> 00:07:20,680 group the unofficial higher side chats 159 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:23,590 Facebook group so I could wash my hands 160 00:07:28,529 --> 00:07:26,770 of it and say you know I really just 161 00:07:31,620 --> 00:07:28,539 want to make my show I have no control 162 00:07:33,570 --> 00:07:31,630 over this group or anyone in it because 163 00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:33,580 I really didn't and I didn't get into 164 00:07:40,469 --> 00:07:38,110 this to police Facebook groups and some 165 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:40,479 of this was happening on the THC Plus 166 00:07:45,420 --> 00:07:42,639 forum something that's just for the paid 167 00:07:48,149 --> 00:07:45,430 subscribers which I'm also not on as 168 00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:48,159 much as I should be but clearly posts on 169 00:07:56,580 --> 00:07:52,110 that forum are relayed in Tracy's video 170 00:07:58,260 --> 00:07:56,590 so at the time I'm just sort of trying 171 00:08:00,719 --> 00:07:58,270 to stay busy on the show 172 00:08:02,969 --> 00:08:00,729 and not engage with this stuff because 173 00:08:05,969 --> 00:08:02,979 if it's affecting you and it's all 174 00:08:07,890 --> 00:08:05,979 through a digital screen shut off the 175 00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:07,900 screens for a while and that was how I 176 00:08:13,499 --> 00:08:10,630 handled it and Kyle like a good 177 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:13,509 concerned friend was digging all through 178 00:08:18,689 --> 00:08:16,210 these public posts at least checking out 179 00:08:20,430 --> 00:08:18,699 the links and he hits me up and he'd be 180 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:20,440 like dude are you seeing this these guys 181 00:08:23,909 --> 00:08:22,210 are saying this and that about you this 182 00:08:27,450 --> 00:08:23,919 other guy's talking like you're really 183 00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:27,460 close and I know you aren't and again I 184 00:08:32,410 --> 00:08:29,710 saw how this was affecting him along 185 00:08:36,460 --> 00:08:32,420 with the other stuff and I just said man 186 00:08:38,170 --> 00:08:36,470 let it go what can you do now these 187 00:08:40,810 --> 00:08:38,180 weird messages were from several 188 00:08:43,870 --> 00:08:40,820 different people I know at least a 189 00:08:47,650 --> 00:08:43,880 couple of them clearly overlapped based 190 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:47,660 on Tracy's video but my impression was 191 00:08:52,210 --> 00:08:49,970 just that it was a couple of unrelated 192 00:08:54,820 --> 00:08:52,220 people who probably aren't quite right 193 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:54,830 and they found the higher side chats and 194 00:09:01,720 --> 00:08:56,810 they got really obsessed and it was just 195 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:01,730 some superfans who probably just are 196 00:09:07,420 --> 00:09:04,130 getting carried away they wanted to feel 197 00:09:09,190 --> 00:09:07,430 like they were part of something so we 198 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:09,200 have these comments about protection 199 00:09:16,750 --> 00:09:12,890 spells and secret orders and I just 200 00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:16,760 thought it had the shape of creepy but 201 00:09:23,890 --> 00:09:21,070 kind of typical unwell behavior 202 00:09:26,290 --> 00:09:23,900 Tracy reproduces at least a couple of 203 00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:26,300 their comments in her video and you tell 204 00:09:32,110 --> 00:09:29,030 me if these comments seem to come from a 205 00:09:34,660 --> 00:09:32,120 mentally healthy person so the 206 00:09:36,790 --> 00:09:34,670 frustrating and sad thing about this 207 00:09:39,130 --> 00:09:36,800 video Tracy made is that she conflates 208 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:39,140 my friend Kyle with some of this creepy 209 00:09:45,370 --> 00:09:42,530 behavior and these completely random 210 00:09:49,510 --> 00:09:45,380 accounts none of us have ever known 211 00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:49,520 about or seen before this stuff and I 212 00:09:55,690 --> 00:09:52,690 wish I could talk to her I wish I could 213 00:09:58,330 --> 00:09:55,700 untangle some of these things for her by 214 00:10:00,550 --> 00:09:58,340 giving her my context but I backed out 215 00:10:03,190 --> 00:10:00,560 of the whole thing for my own mental 216 00:10:07,030 --> 00:10:03,200 health and when it comes to Kyle I 217 00:10:09,370 --> 00:10:07,040 really really don't want to air my 218 00:10:11,650 --> 00:10:09,380 friend's dirty laundry I want to respect 219 00:10:14,410 --> 00:10:11,660 his privacy we grew up together 220 00:10:16,510 --> 00:10:14,420 our families know each other I don't 221 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:16,520 want to upset them and I don't want to 222 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:18,770 put anyone on blast but amidst my 223 00:10:23,620 --> 00:10:20,930 warnings that he should stop obsessing 224 00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:23,630 over some of this stuff he wasn't 225 00:10:28,150 --> 00:10:25,460 sleeping he was getting very paranoid 226 00:10:32,730 --> 00:10:28,160 and went through a cycle or a pattern 227 00:10:35,620 --> 00:10:32,740 that I think is sort of archetypal or 228 00:10:38,100 --> 00:10:35,630 stereotypical of a person who goes too 229 00:10:40,870 --> 00:10:38,110 far down a rabbit hole and he had 230 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:40,880 extreme mental exhaustion and he was 231 00:10:45,950 --> 00:10:43,110 hospitalized against his will 232 00:10:47,990 --> 00:10:45,960 which is also not going to make a person 233 00:10:50,690 --> 00:10:48,000 dealing with paranoia feel any better or 234 00:10:54,140 --> 00:10:50,700 any safer so now I'm even more 235 00:10:55,490 --> 00:10:54,150 disengaged from any random comments on 236 00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:55,500 the internet because I'm deeply 237 00:11:00,860 --> 00:10:57,330 concerned over the mental health of my 238 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:00,870 closest friend I'm feeling terrible 239 00:11:05,330 --> 00:11:03,210 because this up routed his life I'm 240 00:11:07,790 --> 00:11:05,340 feeling terrible because his parents 241 00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:07,800 know that it is somewhat related to my 242 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:10,380 show in these topics and maybe none of 243 00:11:15,070 --> 00:11:12,090 this would have happened if I just 244 00:11:18,490 --> 00:11:15,080 stayed at Gamestop it was the first 245 00:11:21,830 --> 00:11:18,500 real-life negative consequence to 246 00:11:23,420 --> 00:11:21,840 hosting the show and again no matter how 247 00:11:25,010 --> 00:11:23,430 close you are to someone you never know 248 00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:25,020 what they say or do in private and you 249 00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:27,990 have no control over it Tracy says that 250 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:29,910 they were talking on the phone every day 251 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:33,090 and then he turned on her well all I can 252 00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:36,540 say is that Kyle is such a passionate 253 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:39,570 guy for justice and he and Tracy and I 254 00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:42,210 are all on the same page of wanting 255 00:11:47,270 --> 00:11:44,850 justice for child abusers I mean who 256 00:11:49,210 --> 00:11:47,280 isn't but I think when people get 257 00:11:52,220 --> 00:11:49,220 obsessed with rabbit holes like this 258 00:11:54,740 --> 00:11:52,230 they get paranoid they have a tendency 259 00:11:59,060 --> 00:11:54,750 to turn on each other and get extremely 260 00:12:01,070 --> 00:11:59,070 skeptical of everything and that's 261 00:12:01,610 --> 00:12:01,080 probably the gist of what happened I 262 00:12:04,580 --> 00:12:01,620 don't know 263 00:12:06,740 --> 00:12:04,590 but I know my best friend was psych ward 264 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:06,750 within like a day of all this I'm sure 265 00:12:12,860 --> 00:12:10,770 there was some unraveling and I love 266 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:12,870 Kyle again it's really sad and 267 00:12:16,850 --> 00:12:14,490 frustrating to be in the middle of this 268 00:12:19,130 --> 00:12:16,860 and trying to do some sort of damage 269 00:12:21,650 --> 00:12:19,140 control when Tracy isn't here anymore 270 00:12:23,630 --> 00:12:21,660 and all we have is this video and I 271 00:12:27,230 --> 00:12:23,640 think it was really irresponsible to put 272 00:12:29,180 --> 00:12:27,240 out there like the day we lost her I 273 00:12:31,550 --> 00:12:29,190 don't know who this guy is I don't 274 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:31,560 really care but as Tracy said in her 275 00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:34,410 video it was just like two months ago 276 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:36,690 where I thought hey a lot of this has 277 00:12:41,570 --> 00:12:38,730 died down Kyle's been doing well for 278 00:12:45,260 --> 00:12:41,580 months I think it's time that I messaged 279 00:12:48,530 --> 00:12:45,270 Tracy clear the air apologize for sort 280 00:12:50,980 --> 00:12:48,540 of ghosting her and explain why I did it 281 00:12:54,470 --> 00:12:50,990 my friend had a mental health issue 282 00:12:56,450 --> 00:12:54,480 nothing else mattered it was largely 283 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:56,460 related to obsessing over this dark 284 00:13:00,890 --> 00:12:56,970 material 285 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:00,900 and I just thought so we have some 286 00:13:04,490 --> 00:13:02,490 creepy videos I can't do anything about 287 00:13:08,030 --> 00:13:04,500 it and it's definitely not a priority 288 00:13:10,550 --> 00:13:08,040 when my best friend is hurting I felt it 289 00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:10,560 was important to tell her this and I 290 00:13:14,450 --> 00:13:12,570 apologize to Kyle for all of it I 291 00:13:15,410 --> 00:13:14,460 wouldn't say these things publicly it's 292 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:15,420 nobody's business 293 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:17,730 but unfortunately when I told Tracy 294 00:13:23,090 --> 00:13:20,730 about this in private I tried to explain 295 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:23,100 why I didn't want to get involved and 296 00:13:28,060 --> 00:13:25,890 she relayed all of this in the video 297 00:13:31,190 --> 00:13:28,070 and then this guy released it publicly 298 00:13:34,870 --> 00:13:31,200 so it's out there and it is my fault I 299 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:34,880 guess I feel really really terrible I 300 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:37,770 miss Tracy I wish I could talk to her I 301 00:13:43,610 --> 00:13:40,770 wish it wasn't being left like this I 302 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:43,620 hope her family gets answers and I don't 303 00:13:48,830 --> 00:13:45,930 even know what happened so there's just 304 00:13:51,290 --> 00:13:48,840 so much speculation I don't even know 305 00:13:53,330 --> 00:13:51,300 what the truth is it's probably too soon 306 00:13:56,690 --> 00:13:53,340 for me to even be putting something like 307 00:13:58,990 --> 00:13:56,700 this out but I just think it should be 308 00:14:01,550 --> 00:13:59,000 addressed in the story told in full 309 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:01,560 because when you let something go it 310 00:14:06,290 --> 00:14:04,770 just grows in her video she goes on to 311 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:06,300 talk about this campground and her 312 00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:08,490 communications with Isaac caffee I don't 313 00:14:12,410 --> 00:14:11,160 know anything about that stuff I know 314 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:12,420 Kyle doesn't know anything about that 315 00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:14,970 stuff my friend was having a really 316 00:14:19,670 --> 00:14:17,430 tough time I was brushing off minor 317 00:14:21,350 --> 00:14:19,680 digital harassment and if she went 318 00:14:24,350 --> 00:14:21,360 deeper into those threads of research 319 00:14:28,250 --> 00:14:24,360 well I haven't even unpacked that yet 320 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:28,260 and I don't know how much of it or any 321 00:14:33,110 --> 00:14:30,930 of it has to do with her death we might 322 00:14:36,650 --> 00:14:33,120 never know but because the video is 323 00:14:38,330 --> 00:14:36,660 related it's in the video I guess I have 324 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:38,340 to talk about it I'm just so sad and 325 00:14:43,910 --> 00:14:41,250 empathetic and yes very frustrated with 326 00:14:45,470 --> 00:14:43,920 this I started the higher side chance to 327 00:14:47,540 --> 00:14:45,480 interview interesting researchers and 328 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:47,550 off the radar topic areas and I loved 329 00:14:53,420 --> 00:14:51,330 doing it but this short month of drama 330 00:14:57,500 --> 00:14:53,430 that happened a year ago was the first 331 00:15:00,860 --> 00:14:57,510 time my real world and my podcast 332 00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:00,870 crossed each other I know it's damaged 333 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:03,390 some of my relationships now which sucks 334 00:15:10,340 --> 00:15:07,290 but it's absolutely nothing compared to 335 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:10,350 the loss of life 336 00:15:16,190 --> 00:15:14,010 and this month of drama that I try to 337 00:15:20,150 --> 00:15:16,200 stay out of has definitely come back in 338 00:15:22,190 --> 00:15:20,160 a big way through this video I've 339 00:15:24,260 --> 00:15:22,200 watched it several times Tracy doesn't 340 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:24,270 really say anything bad about me but I 341 00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:26,850 feel like I can tell by the tone she's 342 00:15:30,490 --> 00:15:28,230 not really happy with me 343 00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:30,500 she even note some of these people were 344 00:15:35,050 --> 00:15:32,910 harassing me too but we just approached 345 00:15:38,630 --> 00:15:35,060 it differently and I wish I had known 346 00:15:41,180 --> 00:15:38,640 how she felt about some of these things 347 00:15:44,570 --> 00:15:41,190 that she says I really wish it wasn't 348 00:15:45,950 --> 00:15:44,580 too late so I think I'm gonna leave it 349 00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:45,960 at that I don't even know if I said 350 00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:48,000 anything important I'm greatly out of my 351 00:15:51,530 --> 00:15:48,540 depth 352 00:15:54,470 --> 00:15:51,540 I do not know really anything more I do 353 00:15:57,140 --> 00:15:54,480 not know how to handle a situation like 354 00:15:59,030 --> 00:15:57,150 this I only feel half comfortable 355 00:16:00,050 --> 00:15:59,040 putting this out there maybe this isn't 356 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:00,060 the right thing to do 357 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:03,210 I have no guide I have no team I have no 358 00:16:09,530 --> 00:16:06,810 training I'm just a guy who hosts a 359 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:09,540 podcast about conspiracy esoteric and 360 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:12,810 sometimes really dark subjects and after 361 00:16:18,650 --> 00:16:16,490 almost a decade of doing it it got real 362 00:16:20,900 --> 00:16:18,660 and I just want to repeat that it's 363 00:16:24,740 --> 00:16:20,910 gotten real because of the release of 364 00:16:27,110 --> 00:16:24,750 this video I don't know if this tragedy 365 00:16:29,810 --> 00:16:27,120 has even a single thing to do with the 366 00:16:32,690 --> 00:16:29,820 content of the video there's many parts 367 00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:32,700 of it that don't involve me or my friend 368 00:16:38,270 --> 00:16:35,700 I don't want to spout off about it but 369 00:16:40,430 --> 00:16:38,280 my opinion at this point is that the 370 00:16:42,650 --> 00:16:40,440 research she was doing and the online 371 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:42,660 harassment at least with the people I 372 00:16:48,350 --> 00:16:44,730 was dealing with are probably separate 373 00:16:50,660 --> 00:16:48,360 things and Kyle definitely is so I'm 374 00:16:53,660 --> 00:16:50,670 just sorry for airing a private person's 375 00:16:55,060 --> 00:16:53,670 personal life publicly I haven't even 376 00:16:58,010 --> 00:16:55,070 talked to him because I've already 377 00:16:59,570 --> 00:16:58,020 expressed that I feel badly about how 378 00:17:01,700 --> 00:16:59,580 this material affected him and I don't 379 00:17:04,130 --> 00:17:01,710 want to set him off again and I'm 380 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:04,140 confident as my friend that he'll 381 00:17:09,620 --> 00:17:06,450 understand why I'm doing this and if I 382 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:09,630 hadn't exposed his private life to Tracy 383 00:17:13,610 --> 00:17:11,730 in a private email it wouldn't be out 384 00:17:15,650 --> 00:17:13,620 there now and people wouldn't be 385 00:17:20,210 --> 00:17:15,660 throwing his name around now and I'm 386 00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:20,220 just just sorry this is terrible we lost 387 00:17:24,169 --> 00:17:22,110 a really extraordinary woman who had a 388 00:17:25,460 --> 00:17:24,179 lot of knowledge and debt 389 00:17:27,049 --> 00:17:25,470 Haitian and produce some very 390 00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:27,059 interesting work and was really 391 00:17:31,940 --> 00:17:29,580 committed to wanting to see more justice 392 00:17:34,940 --> 00:17:31,950 in the world I hope this doesn't 393 00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:34,950 contribute to more drama or pain for her 394 00:17:40,489 --> 00:17:37,649 loved ones I just hope a few pieces of 395 00:17:42,230 --> 00:17:40,499 this that I have will satisfy the 396 00:17:42,590 --> 00:17:42,240 skeptical people out there I know it 397 00:17:44,749 --> 00:17:42,600 won't 398 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:44,759 these are conspiratorial minded people 399 00:17:50,299 --> 00:17:47,610 after all but I just wanted to be open 400 00:17:52,310 --> 00:17:50,309 and honest anyway I'm not really gonna 401 00:17:54,980 --> 00:17:52,320 say any more about it because I don't 402 00:17:57,889 --> 00:17:54,990 really know anything I tried to stay out 403 00:17:59,810 --> 00:17:57,899 of it and do my show I had no idea how 404 00:18:02,029 --> 00:17:59,820 bad it would get or that one of these 405 00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:02,039 people I liked and respected would be 406 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:04,110 gone now or that I would have to defend 407 00:18:09,070 --> 00:18:05,970 my third grade friend from random 408 00:18:12,379 --> 00:18:09,080 careless speculators on the Internet in 409 00:18:15,710 --> 00:18:12,389 closing I guess I would just hope and 410 00:18:18,289 --> 00:18:15,720 ask that if you who are listening see 411 00:18:21,379 --> 00:18:18,299 people talking about this and posting 412 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:21,389 Tracy's video and associating my name 413 00:18:29,350 --> 00:18:25,490 with whatever happened please post this 414 00:18:33,739 --> 00:18:29,360 where you see it please let people also 415 00:18:35,930 --> 00:18:33,749 have this added context I really don't 416 00:18:38,060 --> 00:18:35,940 want to inject myself into this it's not 417 00:18:40,789 --> 00:18:38,070 my business at all but I feel like my 418 00:18:44,060 --> 00:18:40,799 hand was forced I'm saying this now and 419 00:18:46,909 --> 00:18:44,070 I'm not gonna be the one to go around 420 00:18:51,350 --> 00:18:46,919 making sure that I've posted it 421 00:18:55,039 --> 00:18:51,360 everywhere and it even just feels wrong 422 00:18:58,639 --> 00:18:55,049 and arbitrary to worry about anything 423 00:19:02,210 --> 00:18:58,649 but the fact that someone died like 424 00:19:04,730 --> 00:19:02,220 Tracy died I don't know what happened 425 00:19:07,879 --> 00:19:04,740 I'm sure details might come out and with 426 00:19:11,299 --> 00:19:07,889 each detail more speculation as to what 427 00:19:12,279 --> 00:19:11,309 happened but what I'm saying here is all 428 00:19:14,509 --> 00:19:12,289 I can say 429 00:19:17,090 --> 00:19:14,519 you know I interview a lot of different 430 00:19:19,399 --> 00:19:17,100 people about many different things some 431 00:19:22,609 --> 00:19:19,409 are fun and speculative some are very 432 00:19:24,470 --> 00:19:22,619 dark and serious and it's not a game 433 00:19:26,539 --> 00:19:24,480 it's not something to throw claims 434 00:19:29,810 --> 00:19:26,549 around with and this stuff can affect 435 00:19:32,210 --> 00:19:29,820 people very deeply it can depress them 436 00:19:34,249 --> 00:19:32,220 it can send them over the mental edge it 437 00:19:37,070 --> 00:19:34,259 can spill over into their personal lives 438 00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:37,080 and their relationships or potentially 439 00:19:41,150 --> 00:19:38,120 worse 440 00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:41,160 and we all want justice in areas that 441 00:19:47,810 --> 00:19:44,310 seem pretty much off-limits for justice 442 00:19:51,410 --> 00:19:47,820 but we also need to step back sometimes 443 00:19:55,190 --> 00:19:51,420 and counter the dark material with the 444 00:19:58,040 --> 00:19:55,200 love of our friends and family it sounds 445 00:20:00,530 --> 00:19:58,050 cheesy to say but there has to be that 446 00:20:03,350 --> 00:20:00,540 kind of counterbalance and I might come 447 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:03,360 off as a chicken [\h__\h] podcast host who's 448 00:20:09,410 --> 00:20:06,090 never gonna do anything real never gonna 449 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:09,420 fight the big fight but I feel 450 00:20:13,190 --> 00:20:11,220 completely comfortable with my 451 00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:13,200 contribution to the world and my 452 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:15,510 attempts to improve it slightly through 453 00:20:21,230 --> 00:20:18,210 these interviews and the show and I'll 454 00:20:24,350 --> 00:20:21,240 keep trying but in truth I can only 455 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:24,360 stare into the darkest abyss for so long 456 00:20:28,820 --> 00:20:26,610 because I have seen how it affects 457 00:20:31,090 --> 00:20:28,830 people it does worry me and there are a 458 00:20:37,220 --> 00:20:31,100 lot of important things in life besides 459 00:20:39,980 --> 00:20:37,230 the darkest of dark subjects so take 460 00:20:41,780 --> 00:20:39,990 care of the people you love keep Tracy 461 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:41,790 and her family in your thoughts and 462 00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:44,730 prayers and be very careful with what 463 00:20:52,310 --> 00:20:48,300 you say to people online and again one 464 00:20:55,730 --> 00:20:52,320 final time I'm sorry I love you Kyle